Name: Jesse & Joyce
Home state or country: Georgia
I met and married a man who had never been married and had no children. On the other hand I was the mother of 4 children (biological children ages 16, 19 and 20 and a two-year-old girl who was abandoned by a relative at the age of 5 months), a 20 month old granddaughter, and a grandson on the way. This man said he told the Lord he was ready to be married (at the age of 39) but wanted to marry someone who had no children, and possibly who had never been married. Oh, how the Lord ignored this request, but distinctly heard, "Let your will be done."
Though it was an adjustment for my 16-year-old (now 32), the two-year-old gained a mother and father through adoption proceedings on November 3, 1989. My 20-year-old son was serving in the military and his family accompanied him in another state, and my 19-year-old daughter completed her second year of college and decided she would return to our home town to work a while and go to school part-time. God truly blessed our marriage with a strong relationship which enabled us to cope with various issues created by children and family members, and to weather a very strong and fierce storm that hit us the month after celebrating 14-years of marriage. It was February 19th, the day my oldest daughter was murdered, and the day the oldest of her 2 sons turned 14 years old. Because our life is anchored in Christ, and our relationship has been solidified by the Word of God, filled with love, joy, peace, happiness, and understanding, my husband helped me to walk through the darkess day of my life.
For someone who never experienced the joy and excitement of the birth of their first child, God gave this gentle spirited man everything needed to be a wonderful husband, father, grandfather, friend, Pastor (just a few adjatives to discribe this great man.) We never use the word "step", and he is lovingly referred to as: Daddy, Pop, grand-daddy, and grand-da-dee (by the 19 month old granddaughter). My nieces and nephews call him "uncle", and I am "aunt" with his nieces and nephews as well. Even my in-laws received my children and grandchildren as their own. I praise the Lord for my blended family. When my children introduce us they simply say, "This is my mom and dad." I divorced my first husband in 1974 and his relationship with our children was estranged, though we lived in the same city and he had the opportunity to make it better. My husband met my ex-husband for the first time on February 19th and my husband had to introduce some of the grandchildren to their biological grandfather. With the 30 years that have gone by, old wounds have healed and there is no longer any scabs. Also there are signs of maturity. My husband spent some time with my ex-husband a few days after my daughter's death and he (my ex-husband) thanked my husband for being there for our children and for doing things that he should have.
It is so important to allow God to put relationships together. I prayed to the Father and expressed how much I desired to be married, asking specifically for someone who loved the Lord just as much as or more than I did. I believe that this was very key because when someone seriously loves the Lord, the Lord has ALL of that person and therefore there is no doubt of his love for me and mine. Please know that we have had our challenges, and will have more: My 16-year-old had words with my husband when he delt with her terrible attitude after I disciplined her. At the age of 25 she had words with him when he delt with the way she spoke to her twin girls who were two years of age. My husband did not treat my daughter any differently, he walked in forgiveness and my daughter saw the error of her ways and repented. My son, at the age of 25, came out of the military, went through a divorce and we provided temporary housing to him. When my husband told him it was time for him to get a place of his own (and it definitely was) he told my mother that my husband kicked him out during the time his three children were visiting him. This was a lie and it resulted in my mother telling my husband he was no longer welcome in their home. We weathered this storm together. I stood my ground and let my parents know that if my husband was not welcome, neither was I. My parents learned that this was a lie and my son repented. My husband never changed his attitude but continued to walk in love with all. When my grandchildren met my ex-husband and was in his company for a few days, the relationship with my husband did not change, he is still "granddaddy" and "grand-da-dee".
Jesus is Conqueror and King, and is able to blend families successfully, sealed with His blood. I encourage couples to never allow children to play one parent against the other, always stay a few steps ahead of them, and know that there is strength in unity. Blended families are like a rainbow, and a rainbow is a reminder of God's promise to us. Look for the rainbow at the end of a very hard rain fall, and receive the promise of God.
God bless,
Joyce in Georgia
Joyce and Jessee's story reminds me how important it is that couples stand together, even in the face of children, in-laws, and parents who would divide their loyalties. When you stand as one--together with the Lord, the cord is not easily broken. RLD (Nov, 2003)
