Rachel from CA (submitted 8/30/10)

Name: Rachel

Home: California

My 15yr old son was loved by me the day we met when he was 2. He came to live with us when he was 7 and everything was fine until we took in our baby daughter, now 5, he was 9. Nothing has really gone right for us since then. he was an only child for all 4 sides of our families for 9 years. Today my heart is breaking he said he hates me and dispizes our daughter. All my fears came true he is moving to Kansas with his mom. curently he is sleeping on the porch waiting for his mom to come pick him up how did we get to this point all I have ever wanted was to be a mom no not just a mom a great mom and since I can't bear my own I have just loved being the best mom I can be to the ones God has givin me. Why do I feel so lost and sad and wishing I was no longer on earth I need God to help me see what it is He is doing in all this It's hard to count this joy....