Lynne from Washington State (submitted Nov '09)

Name: Lynne

Home: Washington State

It was not an easy start to be sure. Between us we had 8 children, one of which was our own. We married after we had the baby and his 4 older children had a very difficult time with our relationship (part of the reason we waited 2 years) and one of my older children had a difficult time with the relationship.

Since the children that were having a difficult time were in their late teens and early 20's we believed it would "ride itself out" and forged on.

At the wedding, my oldest daughter refused to attend the ceremony at all. (I should note that by this time the wedding had been postponed 3 times due to various childrens issues and it was also her 21st birthday). To this day she resents that anyone would schedule anything on her birthdays. I have concluded that is her issue not mine and she will have to deal with it somehow in life.

During the ceremony his oldest daughter, age 21 at the time, was very reluctant. The minister had all of the 7 attending children come forwards and gave them a charge to not interfere in the relationship and to respect both of us. The children were asked if they would agree to that. After they all agreed his 21 year old daughter burst into tears and disrupted the ceremony.

We forged on with the ceremony. In that split second we knew if we did not forge ahead, the wedding would never be. After postponing it 3 times for various children's issues, we had to finish what we had set out to do.

It has now been 6 and 1/2 years. I am happy to report that his 21 year old daughter and I are good friends and I am grandma to her 2 children. My 21 year old daughter has been through rehab and is planning to marry in 5 months.

The remainder of the children are all content and happy. The only real serious issue we have had (other than the two girls at the wedding) was one of his sons and finally in desperation I sat him down (he was in his 20's and on his own) and told him "I am your friend, not your enemy. I know your life did not go as planned but we can make this work if we work together." I did not yell, I did not condemn. I simply listened. After about an hour we had come to an understanding. Things have been pretty smooth since that day.

I pray that this family continues to blend well and that the path gets smoother everyday.

Lynne-- God bless you for persevering through the darkest times. Now, 6.5 years in, you are experiencing a few rewards. What a testimony to your dedication. Stay the course!  RLD