Jeannie, from Louisiana (submitted Feb '08).
Learning From a Good Stepmom

Name: Jeannie

Home: Louisiana

Learning from experience with having a good stepmom growing up, here is to all the step-moms that have their stepchildren every other weekend.

My stepmom came into my life when I was 6 years old. Now being 27 and being a full-time stepmom to my own stepson, I use lessons she taught me.

I think back over the years of living the stepfamily life - living in 2 different rules - 2 different houses 2 different ways of life. She did the special things for me and my sister that now we look back on and are so thankful.

I thought I would just share some of the things to help the stepmoms that get their stepchildren every other weekend.

- Every Friday night she would make sure that we had pizza to eat. We would all sit around the table and eat pizza and visit with each other. Dad would normally rent a movie for us to watch that weekend. She would step back and on some Saturday's, Dad would take us girls to the mall or to a movie - it was our special time with Dad.

- Holidays - she always had us a special Easter basket or a special little treat for the different holidays. She took the incentive to do this - Dads sometimes just aren't into the little things.

- Gifts, she would always find times to take us shopping to get Dad something special and arrange a time for him to take us to get her something special for Christmas gifts.

- Weekends - she normally made sure that they had one of our favorite snacks on hand.

Thinking back, these little things were things that stick with a child and make those every other weekends special.

As we have gotten older, she would make sure to volunteer to bring things to different showers we had (wedding/graduation). She always volunteered to help if we needed something. Of course Mom was always there and she never tried to take that spot, but she was always there. We might not had given her the hugs she deserved as kids - thinking we might cross the hurting Mom imaginary line - but now she gets them and the thanks and "I love you". She is my stepsons Grandma and now does the special things for him. She is always there to listen and give advice, but we know she will never lecture or judge.

I can only use her as an example with my own stepson. I try to do the special gift buying with him. I make sure he has his allowance money and I will take him to use his money to buy his mom and family gifts so on Christmas day, he brings them something special that he knows is from him.

So, to all the stepmoms, hang in there... do the special things.. and the children will appreciate you more once they are adults and have children.