Future husband won't discipline his kids

Name: Annette
Home: Missouri

I just want to say that I really like your site.  We are actually about to begin our journey as we will be getting married this month, 10/18.  We met a year ago on that very day.  We have read The Smart Stepfamily and really liked it.  We will be combining a total of 7 children (he has full custody of his 4 and I have 3); ages 5, 9, 10, 12, 14, 16, and 18.  So, as you can imagine, we are a bit nervous.  I will definitely continue to visit your site for the good advice and tips it offers.  I may even update you as to how things are going for us.  We have attended one session of Christian counseling (which was quite expensive) and the counselor told us to come back if we have any problems.  I did not quite agree with that advice, as we are hoping to ward major problems off and hoped that counseling would help.  We both realize there will be challenges.  I think the toughest thing so far has been that he has felt guilty in disciplining his children due to the situation with their mom leaving etc.  Therefore, the children have gone for a couple of years with very little discipline, and I have brought that back into the home.   No, we are not living together and won't be until we are married, but I do bring rules into the home when I am there.  Just general things that I expect of my own children such as clearing the table after eating, helping to clean up, things like that.  He is very supportive though and this has helped.  I think what has been the hardest thing for me is that the children (especially the two oldest) have been allowed to speak with disrespect to their dad; such as yelling etc.  We are both takng little steps towards changing some of the behavior that has been allowed.  I would appreciate your prayers as we start this journey and I thank you for having this site for those of us who never expected to be blending families. 

Many blessings, Annette