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Parenting & Stepparenting |
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| Children need access to both parents. But what can you do when the other parent's lifestyle is teaching non-Christian values? |
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A stepparent's job is tough! Stepparents often ask, "What is the best way to bond with my stepchildren? What's my role in discipline? How can my spouse and I best work together?" This article with get you started in the right direction.
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| Deployment of a spouse often means that the spouse who stays home has to assume a number of new tasks and responsibilities. For stepfamilies, this can be even more challenging because of the ambiguous legal relationship between stepparents and stepchildren. |
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| Written for and hosted by Focus On Your Child (web site of Focus on the Family), this article is a web-based learning module for stepparents (and biological parents). Click here to open the Parenting Insights module and begin exploring effective stepparenting. |
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| Parental Alienation Syndrome occurs when one parent intentionally alienates a child or children from the other parent...Whether perpetrated by father or mother, the effect on the child(ren) is devastating.. |
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| ...When these situations occurred, my children and I would give each other a "look," conspirators against his "not understanding us." As long as I continued to do this, the boys continued to resent and disrespect their stepfather and his authority in our home. |
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| "How do I get my stepchild to like me?" ...Finally, I decided the time had come to really find out. So I commenced a survey of 50 stepkids—ages six to fifty-six, to see if I could find out why they did or why they did not, love their stepparent. |
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| ...Probing deeper into her beliefs about what a stepmother is and what one is not, we unearthed some powerful stepparenting perceptions that had been dominating her thinking...and dooming her to failure. She had swallowed hook, line, and sinker three of the most damaging myths of becoming a stepmother. |
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| Stepmothering is the ultimate learning experience, full of insights and discoveries, pain and joy. The role is always surprising and often exasperating. The realization of all you’ve gotten yourself into is sometimes overwhelming. The most important thing a stepmom learns is the most basic and sometimes the hardest to admit: I can’t do this alone. |
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Most every stepparent will eventually realize what an insane proposition it was to enter stepfamily life. All to soon we get caught in the snares of the fine print we neglected to read: “I Stepparent Doe, willingly volunteer to take on the hurtful issues of three families—the two families of origin and my new stepfamily.” How crazy is that? |
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Choosing simplicity begins and ends in your mind, with believing that you can improve your life one step at a time. Ultimately, it’s all about recognizing what you can control—and what you can’t control. It’s about saying yes to the choices that will bring you fulfillment and peace and saying no to the choices that won’t. That’s a pretty amazing power. |
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. . . my fiancé’s 4 year-old son yelled for me to come upstairs to the bathroom. Upon my arrival, he asked me to please help him wipe. -- Janet B., Pennsylvania |
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| (Used with permission from our friends at TroubledWith.com and Focus on the Family.) Obnoxious. At 8 years old, I didn't know how to spell it, but I sure could recognize it when I saw it in action. Boy, was she loud. And annoying. And she had a big bump on her lip. And big hair. And big feet. And really tight clothes on her big, big body... |
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| Wisdom is a long-term goal of parenting, but sometimes we get caught up in a short-term parenting perspective. |
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| The number one strategy for training children is to catch them doing something right! Your approval is incredibly important to your child. Unfortunately, we often get caught in a cycle of catching misbehavior, rather than looking for proper behavior. |
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| The first challenge of leadership is managing ourselves. Parents and stepparents who know both themselves and the needs of their children will likely adapt well to the challenges of raising healthy kids. But, parents who do not know themselves—their own motives, values, emotional vulnerabilities and scars, personality, and strengths—will likely find parenting very frustrating. |
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| Links to the National Center for Fathering: Pre-teen and teenage kids can pose a tremendous challenge for stepfathers. As they develop their identity and self-esteem, they are very sensitive to dramatic changes in their family structure and living situations. |
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| I constantly have to remind myself that my children are not interested in hearing Lecture No. 39 again, nor will words alone likely lead to a change in their behavior. I must do something because actions truly do speak louder than words. |
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I wanted a new mom, but Kali’s not what I had in mind. Now I’m stuck with her! |
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| Where do I start? What can I do to nurture a relationship with my stepchildren? |
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| Are you a stepparent who needs a little inspiration? Read on... |
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| Building a relationship with a stepchild(ren) is a journey. Read the letter one stepfather sent his daughter as he tried to step into your world with compassion and patience... |
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| ...His tense body seethed with defiance as he yelled, “I don’t have to. I can do whatever I want.” That familiar phrase pounded my head as I wished this nightmare would end... |
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The LOVE I have for my stepchildren has expanded my heart more than I could ever imagine. The HOPE I hold is that there are places within me where they find safety and celebration for their amazing lives. The GRACE I pray for is fresh with each new morning.
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| ...my two daughters asked if they could go to the lake on Father's Day with their new stepdad and mother...It really hurt that they wanted to spend Father's Day with their new stepdad... |
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| Anyone who has been a father and then a stepfather knows that they aren’t the same. Here are some practical tools for the stepfather tool box. |
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| What do you do if your stepdaughter always wants to be daddy's "number one girl?" |
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| One issue that causes continuing problems for many stepparents is the every-other-weekend visit of stepchildren. Perhaps you know those feelings that start a few days or even a week before the visit? The fear, the dread, the uncertainty, the insecurity -- all very real and upsetting. And as much as you wish you could, you just can't seem to get past them. |
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| From our friends at the National Center for Fathering comes this full-life perspective from humorist Erma Bombeck. A must read! |
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It’s one of the biggest complaints I hear about biological parents (either from a stepparent or an ex-spouse regarding the other biological parent): “They just don’t follow through. No matter how much we discuss it, once we make a plan, they just don’t follow through with discipline—and the rest of us are suffering for it.” There are lots of reasons that biological parents “get wimpy”... |
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