Faye, from North Carolina (submitted December, 2002)

Name: Faye
Home state or country: North Carolina

I am approaching my 10th wedding anniversary with my second husband.  When we married, he had two sons (age 5 and 6) from a previous relationship and I had a daughter (age 5) from my first marriage.

Blending a family is not easy but can be done successfully when you place God first.  The relationship between the parents has to be very stong.  Values and beliefs must line up for success.  We were very open with our children from the beginning.  We had a meeting and explained that we were going to be a family.  We gave them options as to whether to address us a momma and/or daddy or by our first names.  They all chose momma and daddy.  We stressed the importance of respecting all family members at all times.  Two years after our marriage, we had a child together. 

Today, our children are 7, 14, 15, and 16.  They are all very bright and well adjusted children who do very well in school academically, socially and behaviorly.  The hardest part is dealing with an ex partner who is having trouble letting go.  The way to deal with that is to honor the institution of marriage and give your spouse the top priority.  I am very sure that God ordained my second marriage. (My first was because I became pregnant unexpectedly).  We were (and still are) sure that we were meant to be together.