Build a Local Stepfamily Ministry

"We are endebted to the insights Ron Deal shared...and I urge every pastor...to think about a ministry in your church for those who have experienced divorce...and consider how you might be able to minister to those in stepfamily situations."

Rev. H.B. London Jr.
Vice President, Pastoral Ministries, Focus on the Family
as heard on Pastor to Pastor, Spring '06

"How do we get started or grow our ministry?"

It's a question I hear quite frequently from ministry leaders and couples around the country.  Most stepfamily ministries continue to be grass-root efforts (i.e., begin when a stepfamily couple asks the leadership to help them begin a ministry), but knowing where to begin can be a challenge. 

Practical Tips & Resources for Building Your Ministry:

1. Catch the big picture.  Understand how stepfamily ministry is part of the larger objective of ministering to all forms of families.  Read this article on ministering to 21st century families (plenary address at the 2005 Marriage & Family Ministry Conference, Phoenix).
   
   
2. Purchase our discounted "Building Your Ministry" Resource Pack.  It includes material on stepfamilies, pastoral ministry, and counseling stepcouples and stepparents.  Begin by reading chapter 12 of the book The Smart Stepfamily entitled "Ministering to Stepfamilies."  It provides a biblical rational for stepfamily ministry and shares practical ideas for your program.
   
   
3. Articulate your vision to your ministry leader(s).  Loan them your book or buy them a copy and ask them to read chapter 12, as well.  Then, discuss how your church might begin implementing some of the ideas.
   
   
4. Identify your ministry leadership.  I recommend finding at least two couples who will share the responsibilities for organizing and carrying out the ministry.  They need to be stable stepfamily couples who have weathered a few storms, but need not be perfect (who is?).  Also, it's okay if one of the couples is not a stepfamily; they can facilitate discussion and personally relate to issues that all married couples face.
   
   
5. Consider hosting Ron's "Building A Successful Stepfamily" seminar to launch or supplement your ministry.  Dozens of churches have begun their local ministry by hosting this event and announcing their intention to create an ongoing ministry.  The publicity, marketing, and attention a stepfamily seminar creates is a great way to get your ministry off the ground.
   
   
6. Determine the best format for an educational group meeting.  Some churches are creating Sunday morning bible classes for stepfamilies, others are utilizing Wednesday study times, while still others are organizing monthly meetings in someone's home.  The culture of your church will need to be considered as you make your decision.  Since this will be the crux of the ministry, make sure the leader is stable and capable of facilitating healthy dialogue.  They do not need to have all the answers ("I don't know" is an acceptable answer), but do need to have a working knowledge of stepfamily dynamics and issues. 
             This and similar topics are covered in the Understanding & Ministering to Stepfamilies audio seminar (included in the Building Your Ministry resource pack). 
   
   
7. Use The Smart Stepfamily as a study guide for your class/support group.  The best way to do this is to ask the class to read a chapter each week, then come together using the discussion questions at the end of each chapter as a focal point for discussion.  It is here that each couple will apply the material to their home.  Please note that many class leaders report that they cannot adequately discuss an entire chapter each week.  Many are spending 2-3 weeks on each chapter before moving ahead.  The DVD video "7 Steps to Stepfamily Success" is being used by many churches to supplement the reading.  For example, as class begins the leader can show a brief 10-minute segment (which summarizes the reading for those who didn't complete the reading assignment) and then begin the chapter discussion.
   
   
8. Another significant set of materials for your group to study is the Smart Steps & Growing in Wisdom curriculum.  This teach-out-of-the-box resource provides a comprehensive curriculum (detailed teacher guide, handout masters, videos, and CD with Power Point) for parents and children.  In fact, it is the only curriculum we know of that provides training for children in stepfamilies.  (Consider using The Smart Stepfamily and this curriculum in succession.)
   
   
   
   
9. A third curriculum resource is the video-based study by Carri and Gordon Taylor entitled Designing Dynamic Stepfamilies.  This eight-part VHS or DVD series comes with an extensive Christian Study Guide for group discussion or individual study. 
   
   
10. For further reading and ministry preparation, pick up a copy of Divorce & Remarriage in the Church by David Instone-Brewer or Divorce & Remarriage: A Redemptive Theology by Rubel Shelly.  These resources discuss theological and pastoral matters in stepfamily ministry.
    
    
11. In addition to the above resources, a complete listing of recommended web, book, and curriculum resources for stepfamilies and stepfamily ministries has been compiled for you.  Find it here.

Contact us today about the possibility of hosting a conference.  Together, you can make a difference in the lives of God's people.