Staci, from Iowa (submitted Sept, 2004)

Name: Staci
Home state or country: Iowa

I am a mother of 3. Two with my ex. One with my new husband.  I have been divorced for 8 years.  At the time of my divorce my children were 5 and 8.  My abusive husband, after having the kids help him pack, skipped town for about 9 months. In that time I had started dating my current husband.  The kids loved him.  He was there to play with, coach baseball for, and help support.  Now here we are 8 years later.  My oldest is now 16.  His dad came back into the picture shortly before he turned 10. He would always make excuses as to why he couldnt take the kids on his week-end.  Once he even lied and said he was in the hospital throwing up blood.  At that time my son was 12 and called the hospital only to be told no one by his name had been seen.  This was just one of they many lies he had told his kids.  All those years we were the first ones to reassure the kids that no matter what their dad has said or did he still loves you.  Now here we are...the bad parents.  A few weeks ago my 16 year-old son was hurt in football practice.  I ended up taking him to an ortho. surgion for a shoulder injury.  On a Thursday.  On the Saturday after dear old dad had secretly bought him a go-cart and allowed him to race it for the first time that night.  I was so upset and tired of him and his dad doing and saying the opposite of everything I did I told him to go live with his dad.  Well, he didn't; he is now three blocks away living with his g-ma and telling everyone how his stepdad kicked him out because his dad bought him a go-cart.  Thats not why I told him to go.  I raised him to be a smart, honest kid and to know right from wrong.  He has lied so much in the last few years I just can take it anymore.  WHAT SHOULD I DO?  WHERE DO I TURN?