Barb, from Washington (submitted Sept. 2004)

Name: Barb
Home state or country:  Washington, USA

Oh, boy do I wish this were available 28 years ago. When I married my husband in 1976, he came with three children. Their ages were 12, 8,and 5 years old; he also came with an ex-wife.  Of course, I thought that we would have a Brady Bunch life--the joke was on me!!! There were fights, threats, separations, and extreme heartbreak.  It was not fun. My husband and I did have two daughters. The older one lived through all the pain and disappointments.  Since there is 10 years between our daughters, the youngest didn't see nor feel the disappointments that I and her sister felt. She was the lucky one.  I regret in ways that I didn't take my first daughter and leave permanently, because she still carry's many memories of the earlier years as I still do.  But through the Grace of God, we stayed and now we are planning that daughters wedding and the ex-wife is invited as well as the (half) siblings. 

Many years ago, while attending a local church (about 12 years into the marriage), I met a wonderful counselor who taught a women's class.  One assignment that we were to do was to write & mail a real letter to someone who needed our forgiveness. My "persons" were the ex-wife and step-kids. From then on God was in total control. It took time, but that letter that was sent and received healed many wounds and opened many doors! We now have 17 wonderful grandchildren and two more on the way.  God is so wonderful and Majestic. I give HIM only all the praise of the glorious relationship between all of us. Life is not perfect and disappoints continue in areas of it, but with God, the disappointments are easier to bear.